Rotkäppchen
by Lothe
Summary: [Complete] The 12th Angel is about to grace the skies above Tokyo-3, but sometimes the greatest battles are fought on a smaller scale. PG for mild language.
1. Prelude

****

** Credits**: Neon Genesis Evangelion (_Shinseiki Evangelion_) is copyright © Gainax, and not me. Repeat: I do not own Evangelion, or anything associated with it. That all belongs to Gainax, and probably some other companies incorporated here by reference, meaning "I don't know who you are but please don't sue me." I know you wouldn't want to see a young artist ruined for the sake of your own corporate gains, right? Right?

****

Rotkäppchen

__

Prelude.

Sohryu Asuka Langley watched the trees pass by slowly as she walked to school, cradling her lunch and balancing a book-bag on one shoulder. Behind her, Ikari Shinji walked in silence, staring straight ahead. Ayanami Rei had doubtless already arrived at school.

Asuka's face twisted into a look of contempt. _That dumb overachiever_, she thought. _Always has to be the best at everything. So cold and distant, too. It's like she's a machine or something. Well if that's the way she wants to be…_

A bird twittered and was answered by a call from another bird, both hidden somewhere in the trees. Asuka heard leaves rustle as wings flapped furiously to escape into the sky, but she did not see the bird attempting to take flight.

From behind, Shinji watched Asuka's red hair shift as she walked, listening to the slight breeze perfumed with bird calls. His own book-bag was loaded with heavy texts, although after as many years of attending school he had grown used to the weight.

Asuka began to hum tunelessly to herself, forgetting that Shinji was even there, greeted only by the blank and barren road ahead. Shinji listened, Asuka's song drifting back to him. In due course they entered the city proper, and found themselves immediately surrounded by structures of steel and concrete stretching to the sky.

_This place is so ugly,_ Asuka thought, though her humming had not ceased. _Not even clean and polished, just…dirty._ Shinji watched the occasional car speed by, which would soon enough disappear down the street, and he would forget it had ever been there.

As they drew closer to the school Asuka became more tense; her song died on her lips. _A whole building,_ she thought, _full of people I don't like and who don't like me._

Shinji let his mind wander, watching as the school came into view and then grew larger and larger, until at last it loomed over them and kept them in check with its imposing gaze.

Asuka grabbed the door handle and veritably ripped the door open; it flew back and the handle collided with the brick of the building itself with a hollow thud. Shinji followed Asuka inside, giving the door a timid push to keep it from closing on him.

The interior of the school was riddled with lights but seemed dim, and Shinji followed Asuka obediently to room 2-A as if for fear he might get lost. The room was still mostly empty; Shinji and Asuka at last parted ways and took to their separate desks, Asuka looking almost defiant as she took her seat, Shinji seeming to grow smaller without her presence.

Asuka scanned the room and saw Rei, sitting silently at her desk, staring intently at a textbook. _Probably quantum physics or something,_ she though disgustedly. Rei did not seem to notice Asuka's penetrating glare; if anything, it seemed to make her focus all the more on her reading.

Shinji looked furtively around the room, as though expecting some kind of attack.

"Yo! Shinji!" Shinji sat bolt upright at the sound, as though his fears had been realized. The hail had come from a solid, confident-looking young man standing in the doorway: Suzuhara Toji. He smiled when Shinji looked over at him, and Shinji smiled too, glad to see his friend again.

From behind Toji a lanky, sandy-haired boy appeared, waving and holding a Sony camcorder. Aida Kensuke was Shinji's only other friend, and could usually be found wherever Toji happened to be as well. Shinji stifled a chuckle and the two came over to his desk.

The three launched into a discussion of the last night's homework, Toji attempting to wring answers out of his friend and Kensuke trying valiantly to steer the conversation toward the new robot model he had bought the previous day.

_Those morons,_ Asuka thought, not really meaning it.

"Asuka," a bright voice said from behind her. She turned and saw the class rep taking her seat.

"Oh, hey, Hikari," she said, smiling. Hikari tossed her head, trying to get her bangs out of her eyes, and the movement made for such a comically aristocratic sight that Asuka had to force back a giggle.

"What!?" Toji's cry rang out through the room, distracting everyone except Rei. "Ya mean ya ain't done none 'a da homework!? Is dis da Ikari dat I know!?"

Shinji's response was too quiet to be heard, but Asuka knew that he had tried and failed to fit homework in amongst countless synch tests, medical exams, and the general chaos which had followed the attack of the eleventh Angel.

Eventually the bell rang and the teacher arrived. Hikari commanded the class to stand, bow, and return to their seats. The teacher started without hesitation to speak on the Second Impact, roughly the same speech they heard every other day, and Asuka's mind automatically began to wander.

The day outside was eminently fine-weathered, and sunlight poured into the room through the large bank of windows on one side. Asuka sighed and strained to see the field beyond, dusty and barren though it may have been. She turned to the small computer on her desk and began typing, trying to appear as though she were taking notes, although she was in fact attempting the evening's math homework in hopes that she could save some time that night.

She finished the equations with appreciable speed, but groaned when the story problems appeared. _This is always the hardest part,_ she thought, ruing the fact that her German university had taught her no kanji. She pointed her mouse to a character she didn't recognize and made several keystrokes. A definition appeared on the screen.

"…and this event became known as the Second Impact," the teacher droned. At that exact moment the bell rang for lunch. "I suppose you're all dismissed, then," the teacher said, nodding at them. People immediately began milling about, getting sack lunches and _bento_ boxes from desks and lockers. Asuka saved her work and shut down the computer, fishing into her desk for her lunch.

Students filed out of the room and through the halls, out into the open field behind the building. Asuka did not hurry to a table as many children did, electing instead to watch the others swarm to their places. Rei had chosen a table characteristically removed from the others, and was sitting alone, a sizable book open on her lap.

Shinji and his friends were all seated at a table together, Shinji listening as Toji and Kensuke talked nonstop about this or that. _Just looking at them makes me sick,_ she thought, wondering how Shinji could stand them.

At length Asuka swallowed her pride and chose the only table which was almost bereft of people—the one at which Rei sat. Asuka seated herself as far from the other girl as she could and opened her lunch, staring at the rice balls and fish she had packed for herself.

Rei did not look up at Asuka's arrival, nor did she seem perturbed by the girl's stony silence. The rest of the schoolyard was loud enough, but in Rei and Asuka's corner there seemed to be no sound. Even the birds had ceased their calling as the two girls sat, each deliberately absorbed in her own thoughts.

Asuka stole a glance toward Shinji's table and caught Toji cramming half a rice ball into his mouth. _That idiot_, she thought. Kensuke had turned his camera on the scene and was filming it, trying to hold the recorder steady between peals of laughter.

Shinji looked up for a moment and spotted Asuka watching them. He smiled slightly but stopped short of waving to her. She could see Toji say "Ikari" around his mouthful of food. Shinji turned to him and Toji opened his mouth as wide as he could, revealing a mush of half-chewed rice ball. Shinji laughed obligingly, and Asuka turned away, repulsed.

"I don't know how he can stand them," she said aloud. Rei responded not at all, and Asuka looked over angrily at her intense, silent form. "And what about you?" she sneered. "He's got a thing for you, y'know."

Rei spared Asuka the barest of glances. "I do not know what you mean."

"You _do_!" Asuka shouted, suddenly enraged. "Just because you're a cold, indifferent _bitch_ doesn't mean he doesn't care about you! Look at me when I'm talking to you, dammit!"

Rei had turned back to her book, but now focused the full force of her gaze on Asuka.

"Are you afraid, then?" she said, her voice completely level. "Afraid that if he cares about me, he will not care about you?"

Asuka was struck dumb by the girl's even reply. For a moment she stared blankly at Rei, uttering half-sounds and trying to digest the girl's riposte.

After some seconds Asuka leapt to her feet and dashed back into the schoolbuilding, fighting tears. Rei turned dispassionately back to her book.


	2. First Movement

__

First Movement.

When school let out, Asuka, still sulking, meandered her way to NERV headquarters, where another synch test had been scheduled for that afternoon. She was glad to walk alone for once, instead of being accompanied by Shinji's mild presence or Ayanami's stoic silence.

Cars passed by from time to time, neither machine nor driver paying any attention to the young girl on the sidewalk. _I wonder if they have any idea that their collective life is in the palm of my giant, mechanical hand_, Asuka thought dryly. Her mind reached ahead to the halls of the shining, sterile Geofront, the strange pyramidal building that housed the very brain and muscle of the world's last hope for salvation.

Asuka was glad she had finished her math, for she had been assigned no other homework and could look forward to a relatively easy evening after the synch test. Her mind wandered back to the teacher's speech on the Second Impact.

__

A comet struck Antarctica…half the population of the world was lost forever.

__

I can't believe he buys that stuff, Asuka thought, remembering how even Shinji had been ignorant of the truth of the matter. _But even I don't know,_ she realized. _It's just an "unknown explosion", that's all they ever call it…even I don't know what really happened…_

The sun was still high in the sky when she arrived at NERV. She scanned her ID, thankful that the card reader seemed to be in working order that day, and slipped into the brightly-lit corridors of the headquarters building.

She was not immediately aware of anyone else, and she did not know if Rei and Shinji had arrived before her or were yet to come. _Whatever_, she thought. _I just hope I don't run into Wondergirl in the locker room._

Asuka worked her way through the base, stopping at various maps and signs to figure out where she was headed. She wondered if even the most hardy staffers really knew this place by heart, and concluded that surely they could not.

As Asuka trekked down one particularly long and open hallway, she heard footsteps coming methodically in the other direction. She caught sight of a tall, imposing form, and realized it was Ikari Gendo walking down the hall toward her.

"Ah, Miss Sohryu," he said, nodding curtly.

"C—Commander Ikari," she said, bowing hesitantly. "I—I'm on my way to the synch test now, and…"

"Good." Commander Ikari cut her off mid-sentence. She kept her mouth closed and stood stock still, watching him. "I am afraid I will not be present for the test—I have business to take care of elsewhere. But I am certain you will not fail."

Without waiting for a reply he swept past her, his rhythmic, echoing footfalls never changing.

__

Sheesh, Asuka thought, looking over her shoulder at the departing Commander. _He's worse than Wondergirl. At least _he_ talks_,_ anyway._ When Commander Ikari's back had disappeared into the labyrinth Asuka turned and resumed walking. She was vaguely shaken from her encounter with the Commander, whose never-changing countenance and mien threw her off-balance.

In a daze she found her way to the locker rooms, where she was relieved to find that Rei either had already departed or had not yet arrived. She changed hurriedly out of her school uniform and into her plug suit, stuffing the clothes into her locker and slamming the door shut.

It bounced off the haphazardly-arranged garments and drifted back open, and Asuka pressed the uniform into the locker with one hand and shut the door more carefully with the other.

When the door had closed she found herself staring Rei straight in the face. Asuka's features contorted with contempt, and she held back a vile insult as she stalked past the other girl and out into the hallway.

Silently, Rei changed her clothes.

****

Asuka turned corners jerkily, the mere sight of Rei reminding her of the pain and embarrassment she had suffered that afternoon. As she passed the boys' locker room Shinji emerged.

"Asuka?" he asked timidly.

"Get out of my way!" she shouted, shoving him aside. Shinji caught himself on the doorframe but did not retaliate, only watched the girl storm toward the plug bay.

For her part, Asuka did not even entirely appreciate her own action. Her rage simply leapt from her onto any conductor she was near. Seething, she arrived in the plug bay, where three long, metal tubes awaited their pilots. They rested in a sea of thick, reddish liquid, the LCL that would enable measurement of the pilots' synching ability. The stench of the stuff was incredible, and Asuka strained not to breathe through her nose.

One of the techs nearby came over and double-checked her ID card. Asuka wondered why they would be so ambivalent as to her identity but wisely held her tongue. The two boarded a small watercraft and sped over to one of the dormant entry plugs.

Asuka stepped onto a mechanical lift in the back of the boat and she heard the whine of hydraulics as it began to lift her into the air. She was vaguely frightened; the slight swaying of the platform gave her the impression that at any moment the supports might give way and plunge her tens of feet into the liquid below.

Finally she was close enough, and she scuttled onto the entry plug, spinning the wheel that would open the hatch. With a hiss of depressurization a metal panel lifted off the plug's surface and Asuka climbed inside, sealing the hatch behind her.

A huge pane of glass looked out on the testing room, and behind it stood several familiar figures, among them Dr. Akagi Ritsuko and the pilots' commanding officer, Katsuragi Misato. Conspicuously absent was the presence of Commander Ikari, who had presumably already departed for whatever nether reaches held business for him.

Asuka sat in the dark and silence of her entry plug, listening to her own heart beat in her ears. She could hear her even breathing in the still air, felt as though she might never emerge from this metal womb.

From outside Asuka detected the sound of the boat's lift machine operating again, announcing the arrival of another pilot. She did not know who it was, but not long after the lift sounded again, signaling that all three were present. A voice crackled across the speakers in their plugs.

"We're going to flood the plugs with LCL now," Ritsuko informed them. Asuka braced herself as liquid began filling the tube she was in, and after one or two choking gasps she relaxed into breathing the strange stuff, feeling lighter as the liquid helped support her weight.

After the pilots had all had ample time to become accustomed to the LCL Ritsuko opened the radio channel again. "We'll be keeping the com and video channels off for most of the test," she said, "so just close your eyes and relax for a little while. This shouldn't take too long."

Asuka shut her eyes, completing the darkness around her. She could hear nothing of what happening beyond the plug, and simply lay still in the tube, letting her thoughts flow freely.

Far above them all a small group of people observed various computer screens. Ibuki Maya, Dr. Akagi's chief assistant, made nonstop keystrokes, switching the available views of the graphs and readouts.

"Huh, look at Shinji's scores," Misato said quietly. The line showing the boy's synch ratio spiked higher than the other two at several places. Ritsuko nodded, the orange glow of the computer screens reflecting off her glasses.

"Higher than usual," she said mildly. "He'll be glad to hear about that."

Ritsuko reached over Maya's shoulder and pressed several keys herself, and the screen switched displays rapidly, until Misato was terribly confused. "Alright," Ritsuko said into a small microphone, "the test is over."

A screen showing the pilots' faces revealed each one slowly opening their eyes, Shinji apprehensive, Rei emotionless, and Asuka…

__

She looks exhausted, Misato thought. For a brief moment she worried about the girl, but tossed her concerns aside and picked up Ritsuko's mic. "Shinji," she said, and the boy's eyes flickered on the screen. "You'll be happy to hear that your synch ratio was the highest of any of the pilots."

For the first time in some while, Shinji looked truly excited. "You mean—" he said.

"That's right," Misato told him. "You are number one!" Shinji looked elated, but Asuka appeared to have suddenly taken a poker face, staring blankly into the darkness of her entry plug.

"That will be all for today," Ritsuko said, taking the mic back and breaking the silence that followed Misato's remark. The video screen switched off and Maya closed the test programs.

In the plug bay the hatches hissed open again. Asuka sat motionless in her plug, listening to the boat retrieve the other two pilots. Even when she heard the craft approach she did not move, only sat and stared into the inky blackness.

__

You are number one.

Misato's voice rang in her head.

__

Shinji is number one, her own voice echoed tonelessly. _Shinji's not number one at anything._

The mechanical whine of the lift drew closer and closer, until it ground to a halt just outside her plug. She summoned her strength and pulled herself from the plug, silently wishing that she could stay cradled in its darkness forever.

****

Asuka pulled the locker open viciously, pleasuring in its echoing _slam_ as it struck the metal of the neighboring door. "That damn idiot!" she said loudly. "'You are number one!' Right!"

Rei stood impassively, changing back into her school uniform, unfazed by Asuka's shouting.

"We're going to have to work _extra_ hard to catch up with him," she said sarcastically. "Now that everyone's all fawning over the incredible

Shinji-_sama_, yay!" She flailed her arms as though dancing in celebration.

"Better hope it doesn't go to his head!" she announced, exchanging her plug suit for her school uniform and slamming the locker shut. "Guess we're just second-class pilots, aren't we!"

Rei silently finished changing and left the room, showing not the least reaction to Asuka's tirade. The other girl watched her go, nearly shaking with rage. She turned back and stared down the blue steel of her locker.

__

You are number one!

__

Afraid he will not care about you?

_About you?_

_About you_?

Asuka's fist struck the locker with all the force she could muster, the sound echoing through the halls.

****

When Shinji and Asuka arrived, Misato still had not returned to the apartment, so Asuka began to fix various forms of instant-noodle for dinner. From the other room came the low, vibrating bass of Shinji's cello, as he played the slow, deliberate arpeggios of the Pachelbel Canon.

For a moment she considered shouting at him, but secretly knew she enjoyed the sound of his playing, the haunting, lonely notes that he summoned from his instrument. As the noodles heated in the microwave she leaned back against the wall and listened to the music, closing her eyes and simply_ hearing_.

In the other room the sounds changed: from the long, measured notes of the _Canon_ Shinji began to play Bach's _Suiten in G_, the bow sliding quickly across the strings.

__

He even manages to make that sound sad, Asuka reflected silently, staring into the blackness at the back of her eyelids.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the piercing cry of the microwave, announcing the noodles finished. She reached up and jammed the STOP button, angry at being so thoroughly distracted.

In the other room the sounds had stopped; Shinji appeared in the doorway and asked if dinner was ready.

"It will be in a minute," Asuka said, striving to sound as disgruntled as she could. Shinji nodded and returned to the other room, and Asuka could hear him pack his cello into its case and move it back to his room. She opened the little cups of noodles and poured them out onto two plates, thinking in the back of her mind that she wished she could have something other than noodles and fish for every meal.

Shinji arrived just as she was setting down the plates; he seated himself on one side of the table and Asuka took the other. Shinji still seemed unnaturally proud of himself, and Asuka focused all her concentration on her meal to keep from snapping at him.

From the front of the apartment the door rattled and they heard Misato announce herself.

"Welcome home," they said in unison. Misato came into the kitchen and sat down at one end of the table.

"Glad to see you can fend for yourselves," she said. "Sorry I wasn't home earlier, but we had to do some clean-up after the synch tests."

"Oh, it's all right, we're fine," Asuka said pointedly. Shinji merely nodded his assent.

"Good," Misato said, smiling. She got up and began heating another cup of noodles.

__

It was annoying to cook, but at least she didn't do it for us, Asuka thought. Misato was notorious for her ability to botch the preparation of TV dinners.

They ate their meal in relative silence, Misato concentrated on her dinner, Shinji relieving his synch test, and Asuka remembering the lonely timbre of the boy's cello, echoing in her thoughts.

Night drew on with precious little conversation. The sound of running water could be heard as Misato showered; Shinji was lying on the floor in his pajamas, listening to his Walkman, and Asuka was sprawled across a chair, reading a book she had brought from Germany, glad to have something in her native tongue.

For lengthy moments the scene did not change, save for Asuka turning a page or Shinji pressing the buttons on the cassette player. The sound of the water cut off abruptly, and for several minutes more there was no real sound. Then Misato emerged, dressed in her own pajamas.

"It's getting late," she said. "We should all go to bed soon." The children nodded, and Asuka, the last one left in the day's clothing, went to her room and changed into pajamas.

The three of them exchanged "good night"s and then, one by one, their lights winked out. Asuka lay for several minutes in the darkness, until some divinity took mercy, and sweet sleep cast upon her eyes.

****

__

She reclined into Shinji's arms, cradled in his gentle grip. He smiled softly, and, unbeknownst to him, so did she.

"What would you do if I abandoned you?" she asked quietly, not looking at the boy.

"That wouldn't be nice," he said simply.

"What would you do if I hated you?"

"That wouldn't be nice, either,"

"What would be nice?"

"This is nice," he said guilelessly.

"Yes," she agreed, "It is."


	3. Second Movement

Second Movement.

Asuka's eyes fluttered open with the first inklings of dawn, soft sunlight diffusing through her window to land at her bedside. She made a noise part sigh, part groan, and turned over beneath the sheets, wondering if she would be able to sleep again.

After only a few minutes of forcing her eyes shut she surrendered to wakefulness and stole from her bedroom, slipping into the kitchen to search for food to sustain her until the morning meal. She found several small, frozen rice balls in the refrigerator, hidden amongst Misato's ample supply of beer and the various other necessities to a Japanese meal.

She sat at the table and chewed slowly on the rice balls, content in having the early morn to call her own. When she had taken sufficient repast she moved silently to the living room. Looking out the window she could see Tokyo-3 beginning to awake as well, kiosks opening to supply hurried workers, and a few cars disappearing down the roadways to some unknown destination.

She sat without knowing how much time was past, until a sound behind her startled her into looking over her shoulder. Shinji had come out of his bedroom, rubbing his eyes.

"Asuka?" he said.

She nodded without responding, but shuffled farther away from the window so she could no longer see directly out of it. She looked at the clock at long last and saw they had only an hour or so before they needed to be at school.

"Morning," a sleepy voice behind her said, and Asuka knew without looking that it was Misato, probably looking disheveled from rolling around too much in her sleep.

Asuka forced herself to stand and turned, greeting Misato. She went into the bathroom and started a shower running. In the kitchen Shinji had begun to prepare breakfast, but the sounds vanished as Asuka stepped into the running water.

She was immediately surrounded by the sound of water beating against the sides of the shower, blocking out any other noise. For a moment she let herself become completely lost in the roar, but knew she could not stand there for too long lest she be late to school.

Annoyed with the constraints of her schedule, Asuka shut the water off, climbed out of the shower, and put on her school uniform. She arrived in the kitchen still trying to dry her hair, which was puffy and dry in some spots and stuck in wet clumps in others.

"Can't dry this…stupid hair…" Asuka muttered, running the towel up and down the length of her red locks.

"I'm sorry," Shinji said.

"That's what you always say," Asuka told him angrily. "You're always sorry about everything! It's not always your fault, y'know!"

"Oh…er, I…I'm sorry," Shinji said.

"There!" Asuka said. "You're doing it again!"

"Oh, c'mon," Misato said, grinning. "That's just the way he is. Don't let it bother you."

"I think you're being too lax about these spineless tendencies of his," Asuka said, pulling a chair out and sitting down. She wolfed down breakfast and packed her lunch as quickly as she could, heading out the door before Shinji had a chance to follow.

Asuka was glad to have the route to herself for once, but kept her pace hurried so she would not be late. The day was still clear as the previous one had been, but Asuka did not notice the birdcalls as she had the day before. Sooner than it had yesterday, the schoolbuilding appeared on the horizon and grew nearer, until she was at its front steps.

She tossed the door open and went inside, still no sign of Shinji behind her. Without dawdling in the halls Asuka arrived at room 2-A, to find she had nearly fifteen minutes until the day began. Only a few other students were present in the room, none of them people she knew.

Five minutes later Shinji appeared in the room. He did not seem put out that Asuka had left without him; in fact, he showed no new emotion toward her or anyone. Asuka felt vaguely guilty about having left him behind, but no so much that she was galled to apologizing.

The room slowly filled with familiar faces. Soon behind Shinji were Toji and Kensuke, and not long after them, Hikari.

"Hey, Hikari," Asuka said as the girl sat down next to her.

"Hi Asuka," Hikari replied, smiling. Her face clouded a little. "Ikari-kun seems a bit down today," she said. "Do you know what's wrong?"

Asuka was taken aback, though she did her best not to show it. "I didn't notice anything," she said, trying to keep her voice neutral. "And anyway," she added, indicating where Shinji, Toji, and Kensuke were all sitting, "he's got those two stooges to entertain him."

Hikari made a sound between acknowledgment and disappointment and began digging school supplies out of her book-bag. Asuka stole a last glance at Shinji, who did not seem to notice the two girls talking, before the teacher entered the room and called the class to order.

Hikari directed the morning greeting and the teacher began relating where he had been at the time of the Second Impact.

__

It's like he forgets he's told us this same story every two days all year, Asuka thought, looking at the teacher and making a disgusted face. She looked around the room, her eyes resting on Ayanami, silent and inscrutable as always.

__

Afraid he will not care about you?

Rei's voice rang in her skull, taunting her. Asuka clenched her teeth and tried to drive the sound from her mind.

__

It is.

__

Care about you?

The lunch bell ripped Asuka from her thoughts, pulling her brutally back to the here and now.

"C'mon, Asuka, let's go eat," Hikari was saying and pulling on her shoulder.

"O—okay," Asuka said, "just a second." She reached into her book-bag and withdrew the lunch she'd stowed there. She stood and followed Hikari out of the room and onto the schoolyard, already quite populous by the time they arrived.

Asuka looked around: all the usual pairings and groups were present. Shinji sat with his two friends, and Rei was seated at a far table, under the shade of a large tree. Asuka and Hikari sat on a stone veranda not far from the schoolbuilding itself. Asuka was all the more content not to be surrounded by people, and certainly not to be sitting any the nearer to Ayanami.

Shinji had become absorbed in the chatter of his companions, and Asuka watched him from afar, Shinji blissfully ignorant of her gaze.

"Hey, Asuka," Hikari said, looking slightly concerned for her friend, "you seem kind of distracted, are you all right?"

"Huh?" Asuka said. "Oh! Oh, I'm fine! Just fine!"

"You were staring," Hikari said. "That table over there, I think," she said, pointing at Shinji's table and starting to smile. "Have you got a thing for him?"

"What!?" Asuka said, trying her best to look stunned and repulsed at the same time. "I do not have a 'thing' for Shinji!"

Hikari giggled. "Well then, if you say so."

Asuka, face burning, hurried to eat lunch.

****

"I don't see why they need us to come to headquarters on a day when there's nothing even scheduled," Asuka said irritably.

"You know," Shinji said, walking beside her. "They have to take roll call of the pilots and everything."

Asuka was vaguely annoyed that Shinji had responded to what was obviously a rhetorical statement, but let the matter pass, simply glad that Ayanami was once again several minutes behind them. Shinji seemed disappointed that Rei had been unable to accompany them, but when he had suggested they wait for her Asuka had made it very clear that they had to leave _now_.

The sun was still up and no sign of clouds was in the sky; dark evening would be some time in coming. As ever the two walked in silence, Asuka supporting her book-bag and Shinji carrying his texts in the crook of his arm. At length they arrived at NERV headquarters, and each scanned their ID cards.

To Shinji, the hallways at NERV always seemed terribly vast and empty. He only rarely saw other people in them, and they were invariably so polished and sterile that he was constantly under the impression that he was soiling them merely by being present.

Asuka seemed to have no such qualms, walking confidently down the corridors, appearing unafraid of the lack of human presence. She had stopped their little party to look at a map when they heard footsteps approaching up the hall. The two of them looked around, expecting to see a mechanic or staff technician, but were greeted instead by Ayanami Rei, who appeared to walk while forever staring at the ground.

"Oh. It's you," Asuka muttered.

"A—Ayanami," Shinji said, smiling hesitantly. "It's—good to see you."

Rei only nodded and then continued walking down the hall.

"C'mon," Asuka said gruffly, "let's follow Wondergirl, now that she's here anyway."

They turned and trailed after Rei, Shinji walking slightly fast in hopes of catching up with her, Asuka purposely hanging back.

Even at Shinji's approaching footsteps Rei did not turn around, nor slow down so he could walk beside her. Only her measured, echoing steps indicated she was alive and not merely an oversized doll, though Asuka found it all too easy to pretend that Rei was not in fact alive, animated only by the will of others because she had no will of her own.

They arrived at the main command center to find the place in turmoil.

"Glad to see you're all here," Misato said, not a trace of sarcasm in her tone. They nodded at her.

"We're getting strange readings on the outskirts of Tokyo-3," she explained. Techs and scientists shouted to each other in the background; people ran back and forth across the room with readouts and information.

A giant viewscreen flickered to life above them all: it depicted, floating in the cloudless sky over Tokyo-3, a giant, black-and-white-striped sphere. Several people stared at it in amazement; Asuka was stunned by the sheer size of it.

Makoto's fingers flew across his keyboard. "Target identity confirmed!" he called. "Object is the twelfth angel!"


	4. Third Movement

Third Movement.

The room became a maelstrom of activity. "Alright, pilots!" Misato said. "We've got to scramble the Evas! Everybody into your plug suits and get to the cages as fast as you can! Go!" The three children scattered, sprinting the short distance to the locker rooms.

Asuka had no time for angry ruminations as she rushed to change into her plug suit, hurriedly stuffing her school clothes into the locker and forcing it shut. Rei stood beside her, already covered in her white, form-fitting plug suit. The two of them moved quickly to the cages, where the Evas were being readied for combat.

Shinji arrived in the cage less than a minute after the two girls, and all of them stood, waiting for the sortie to be announced. Shinji looked slightly frightened of the beast in the sky, Rei was emotionless as ever. Asuka appeared to have tensed her muscles, like a cat waiting to spring onto its prey.

There was a slight jolt as the huge metal platform began to rise into the air. Through the wire mesh they could see the Evangelions, all three polished and shining. The platform stopped with a clank and the pilots went to their respective entry plugs.

Asuka could hear the hiss of the other two plugs opening, and then spun the hatch open on her own machine. She climbed inside, reminded of the previous day's synch test.

__

Now it's all real, she thought sardonically.

The inside of the plug was dark, so much so that she could not see her own hand in front of her face. "Flooding plugs." A technician's voice came over the radio. A moment later LCL began to fill the entry plug, and Asuka braced herself for combat. She concentrated all her thoughts on the coming battle, trying not to be distracted by the day's annoyances.

The plug filled to the top with LCL, and Asuka could hear the sound of mechanica pulling her tube into the air, distantly sensing the moments when the plug had no contact with the ground. There were loud hissing noises from outside the entry plug as the back of the Eva slid open and the plug was inserted into the giant machine.

Asuka pressed a small control nub near one fingertip and the inside of the plug lit up, cycling through a rainbow of colors before settling into a near-clear hue, tainted by the slightest violet. Asuka could see the cage from where she sat, a huge room created only to house the Evangelions.

"All Evas, board the launch catapults," Misato commanded. She sounded notably calmer than she had when she dispatched them. The metal monsters took deliberate, laborious steps toward and onto the giant platforms which would raise them cityside.

Each Eva assumed its place on the catapults, and with a start they began a rapid ascent to the surface of Tokyo-3. Asuka closed her eyes so the launch tube rushing past her viewscreen wouldn't make her sick. Suddenly the three pilots and their vehicles were standing amongst the skyscrapers, some extending higher than the Evangelions themselves.

Floating many hundreds of meters away was the angel, a strange sight that put the children on edge. "All readings say the target hasn't done anything since we first identified it," Misato said over the radio. Asuka opened vidlinks to her fellow pilots, both of whom were wearing stern, focused expressions.

"Evas, advance on the target to five hundred meters," Misato said. The robots moved slowly forward, both to avoid provoking attack and because the city was a veritable obstacle course of buildings, kiosks, and other comparatively small but destructible objects.

Asuka kept her Eva close to the buildings, as though she were sneaking up to the angel. Shinji lowered his robot into a crouch; only Rei remained fully standing.

"No readings from the target," Misato reported. Asuka nodded her head, momentarily forgetting that Misato couldn't see her, although the other pilots could. "Hopefully this won't be too hard," Misato said. "The plan is for all three pilots to advance on the angel, with one pilot taking point and the other two as backup."

"Great!" Asuka said. "Shinji should take point," she added with a touch of sarcastic overenthusiam, "seeing as he has the highest synch ratio and all." She smirked.

"I'll do it!" Shinji said, almost excited. Asuka's mouth dropped open.

"You'll _what_?" she said incredulously.

"Shinji," Misato said, concerned, "the point is…I mean, are you sure—"

"Asuka's right, after all," Shinji informed them. "That's what you said, isn't it, Misato? 'You are number one!'"

"Well, I, er…"

"C'mon, Shinji," Asuka said, baiting him. "Nobody's objecting."

Shinji urged his Eva forward, moving as quickly as he could across the city. He stopped behind one particularly tall building, brandishing an oversized energy pistol created for the huge robot.

Rei and Asuka immediately threw their machines into gear, rushing to flank him. _That idiot,_ Asuka thought, visibly angry. _He's so rash…we don't even know how to fight that thing…_

In his own Eva, Shinji sat and waited impatiently for the others to arrive. _If we don't attack soon it'll move,_ he worried, watching the angel float in the sky before him, not a hundred meters off. The other Evas were still several hundred meters away from him and the going was slow.

__

I'm just going to have to do it myself, Shinji thought. Without warning he stuck his Eva's torso out from the building, pointing the huge pistol at the orb in the sky. He fired three shots, each one rattling the Evangelion and resounding throughout the city. With barely a sound the angel vanished, disappearing without a trace. It suddenly rematerialized not twenty meters from him.

A shadow began to grow from beneath the angel, an ever-expanding circle of blackness. Shinji let out a strangled cry as the shadow reached his feet and his Evangelion began to be absorbed into it.

"What the hell!?" Asuka shouted, watching Unit-01 sink into the shadow.

Shinji pointed his gun downward and frantically began firing into the dark mass, but the shots were merely absorbed by the stuff, and the shadow did not stop spreading over the city. Entire buildings began to sink into the blackness, until the shadow covered nearly half the city. Asuka leapt up and clutched the side of a drowning skyscraper as the shadow passed under her feet, pulling her Eva laboriously upward to avoid being sucked into the black.

Shinji's panicked cries rang in her ears. "Misato-san! Misato-san!" His Eva had been absorbed nearly to its chest and was sinking rapidly, and his shouts became all the more desperate. "Misato-san! Asuka! Ayanami! _Misato-san!_"

The Eva's head vanished into the shadow. "Shinji-kun!" Misato's cry sounded over the radio, but did not make Shinji re-emerge from the blackness.

"All Evas, pull back," Misato said.

Asuka started. "But! But Shinji—"

Misato's voice was filled with terrible defeat. "That's an order."


	5. Interlude

__

Interlude.

Shinji sat completely still, having no idea how long he would be trapped here, or if he would ever be rescued. Suddenly a terrible scent invaded his nostrils.

__

Wha—what's that? he thought, trying to place the smell. On the realization, he gagged furiously. _Blood! It smells like blood!_ He clawed at his face, trying to make the smell go away. The LCL churned furiously around him as he flailed his arms.

With awful finality he lay still, wishing for escape. Somehow his thoughts calmed, and he could realize only one thing.

__

I'm so terribly cold…

****

Above-ground, the shadow had ceased expanding, and the angel now floated in the air, silent once again. Asuka and Rei had disembarked from their Evangelions, which crouched, dormant, at the makeshift camp NERV had erected near the shadow.

"And to think, Commander Ikari isn't even here," Misato muttered darkly. Dusk was on in full and large portable lights had come on all around the camp. The acting commander joined a sizable group of NERV staffers who had gathered around a blackboard, where Dr. Akagi was explaining the problem.

"The shadow stopped expanding at roughly sixteen hundred meters from the NERV base, six hundred and eighty meters in diameter. However, the shadow's thickness is a mere three nanometers. Our scans have revealed what appears to be an inverted AT field, creating within it what science knows as a Sea of Dirac."

Everyone looked at everyone else, anxiously awaiting an explanation.

"The Sea of Dirac is almost entirely theoretical, even today," Ritsuko said, noticing the confused looks. "No one has ever actually been inside one—or if they have, they've never come out to say what's there. In short, what we're dealing with is pure speculation."

Many people began to grumble amongst themselves, wondering aloud how they were going to extract a huge robot from a place that may or may not exist.

Misato wondered, more to the point, how they would extract a pilot.

****

Shinji lay in the blackness and the silence. He had begun to physically sense the LCL around him, something he had not felt for a long time._ The filtration systems must be breaking down by now, _he thought absently. He activated his Eva's nonessential systems for a moment and looked at a small timer. It had long ago stopped working and Shinji wondered how much time he had left.

__

I've been down here…hours. Hours. My life support can't hold out for that much longer…can it?

It's tiring…being here. It makes me tired.

A voice sounded in his head.

"Are you…Ikari Shinji?"

"Yes…who are you?"

"I am Ikari Shinji."

"There's two of me?"

"There are many of you. The Ikari Shinji in each person's mind. The Ikari Shinji in Kaji Ryoji's mind. The Ikari Shinji in Katsuragi Misato's mind. The Ikari Shinji in Ikari Gendo's mind. The Ikari Shinji in Sohryu Asuka's mind. The Ikari Shinji in Ayanami Rei's mind…all of them are real Ikari Shinjis. Even the Ikari Shinji in _your_ mind."

"But…but I _am_ Ikari Shinji…"

"That is true. And even you have your own perceptions of yourself. Your own ideas about what is good and bad, to you. A different picture of you from anyone else."

"What about Father…? I hated him, but…but he praised me. He called me by my name… Now…now I don't know what I feel about him."

"He represents pain for you, does he not?"

"He…he did…so I ran from him."

"You run from pain, Ikari Shinji. Do not run from pain."

"But…I don't like…pain…"

"You deceive yourself, when you run from pain. You ignore what is the experience of being you. You simply feed yourself the same happy memories, over and over."

"What…What's wrong with that?" Shinji asked, his voice steadying. "That's what everybody does!"

"No man can survive on only memories. Memories are beautiful, but they cannot feed you, cannot fill your stomach up. You must live life to continue on. Even when that life is painful."

"But…I don't…like…pain…"

"Pain is as integral a part of life as pleasure; even you cannot deny that, Ikari Shinji."

Shinji gripped his head as if to drive the voice away.

His cry echoed back to him in the strict confines of the entry plug.

"But—But I don't like pain! What's wrong with that!"


	6. Fourth Movement

__

Fourth Movement.

At the NERV camp scientists and tech staff fought the clock to invent a way to pull the Evangelion from the angel's grasp. Night had drawn on and though the lights had been turned up to full power the space beyond the camp was still bathed in darkness.

Misato stopped Ritsuko as she left her discussion of the angel's metaphysics, holding her back by the shoulder.

"Let me get this straight," she said fiercely, staring the woman down, "we don't know what that thing is, we don't know what it's doing to Shinji, and we don't have any plan for getting him out of there."

"That's correct," Ritsuko said matter-of-factly, unfazed by Misato's intense glare. "We have one idea, though." Misato remained silent, and Ritsuko went on. "There are currently nine-hundred-and-ninety-two N2 mines in existence. If we can use the remaining Evas' AT fields to contain the power of the blast, we believe that we could use every last one of them in a simultaneous strike. Enough force concentrated into the same instant may cause the Sea of Dirac to reverse and spit up its contents."

"But what the hell would nine-hundred-and-ninety-two N2 mines do to a human being, even one inside a heavily-armored robot?"

"There's no telling," Ritsuko said dispassionately. "But either way, our priority is the extraction of Unit-01, not its pilot."

Misato slapped Ritsuko as hard as she could across the face. The woman's glasses skittered across the pavement, hairline fractures appearing all across the lenses.

"What the hell is wrong with you!? Why do you and Commander Ikari want Unit-01 so badly? What in God's name would make you sacrifice a little boy for your damned robot!?"

Ritsuko did not seem at all perturbed by Misato's outburst. Calmly she bent down and collected her glasses, sliding them into the pocket of her lab coat.

"I'm afraid that's the plan," Ritsuko said, not sounding concerned at all. "You should know that I am hereby assuming command of this entire operation." She walked off without another word to Misato, calling out orders in preparation for the extraction. Misato stood, glaring with all her fury and hatred at Ritusko's departing back.

Far enough away that they were out of sight but not earshot, two forms leaned against one of the stacks of crates that had been transported with the essentials of the base. Asuka and Rei stood nearby each other, cast in sharp relief by the unnatural light of the floodlamps.

"Did you hear that?" Asuka said, casting her eyes to the ground. "They're going to kill him trying to get the Eva out."

Rei betrayed no emotion: nor shock, nor sadness. "It is possible."

Asuka's eyes narrowed. "'It's possible'? _Possible!?_" Her voice rose as she turned to confront the girl. "They're going to drop nine hundred mines on him! He'll be blown apart!"

"That would be a shame," Rei said calmly.

Asuka brought her face barely an inch away from Rei's. "You heartless bitch!" she shouted. "He's worried about you and looked out for you and this is how you act when they've sentenced him to death!?" Her voice lowered into a tone of terrible contempt. "_You disgust me._"

Misato appeared seemingly from nowhere, and Asuka drew back, a look of hatred still painted on her face. Misato looked incredibly tired, as though she might simply collapse at any moment.

"Go get some sleep, kids," she said, her voice mirroring her features. "It's late…" She did not seem to have detected any of the girls' heated conversation. Asuka turned and stalked off, and Rei waited behind for a moment before also departing the scene. Misato noticed that Asuka appeared even angrier than usual but was in no mood to investigate.

__

If I didn't have to supervise this whole thing I'd be headed to the sleeping tents, too, she thought. Her mind wandered to Shinji, trapped in the belly of the beast. _Not that I'd get any sleep._

Asuka found her own sleeping tent, determined not to be anywhere near Ayanami so long as she could help it, and collapsed into bed without even bothering to change out of her plug suit. Rei crawled into one of the tiny lodgings, looking down the row at where Asuka had gone to bed, and lay down herself, uncertainly pulling the covers around her body.

Known only to her, Ayanami Rei fell asleep with a prayer for Shinji on her lips.

****

__

Asuka sat alone in the darkness, knowing in her heart she had been abandoned. She clutched her knees to her chest, staring into the pitch and straining for any sign of life.

A form began to emerge from the blackness. It was Asuka, clothed in the yellow sundress she so favored in happier days. She carried a little woven basket and was even smiling.

"Hello Asuka," she said. Asuka stared at herself, incredulous. She pulled herself to her feet and stepped closer to her other self, as if afraid the girl might attack her. She reached out and touched the girl in the sundress.

"I'm real, if that's what you're wondering," Asuka said: not angrily, not unhappily.

The first Asuka stepped back and sat down again, looking away from the other girl.

"Don't worry," Asuka said to the girl in the plug suit, "he'll be fine."

"Who says I'm worrying about Shinji?" Asuka said, immediately becoming defensive.

"You are _worrying about him," the other Asuka replied._

"No!" she retorted. "No, I don't need him! I don't need anyone!"

"Don't be ashamed to speak your heart, Asuka," the other girl said. "Needing others does not make you weak. Not needing others would make you inhuman."

"I'm not weak…" Asuka said, tears brimming in her eyes. "I'm not weak…I'm not weak…"

"Of course you're not," the girl in the sundress said, stepping forward and placing her hand on Asuka's shoulder. Asuka looked up, trying but failing to hold back her tears.

The girl in the sundress smiled softly and faded away, even though Asuka could still feel her touch.

Sohryu Asuka Langley cried out in her sleep, but there was no one to hear.

****

The next day dawned clear as the last two, and as the morning before Asuka rose with first light, to find that the camp itself had never really slept. At first she was surprised to see herself in her plug suit, but all too quickly the events of the previous day came rushing back to her.

When she dragged herself out of her tent she saw that Rei was already up and Misato was issuing orders to various passerby. She seemed to have gotten at least a nap during the night, but it had not done a great deal for her appearance. Ritsuko did not appear to have slept at all, but it also did not seem to bother her. She was still busy coordinating the mine drop, and Asuka realized with a sick feeling in her gut that they were really going to go through with this.

She walked to where Misato and Rei were standing, looking no better than either of them.

"Morning," Misato said wearily, and Asuka nodded. "Here's the plan," Misato told her, not sounding at all enthused. "The Evas are going to activate their AT fields at the very edge of the shadow. There will then be a—" she choked on the words. "A mine drop of unprecedented magnitude…" She seemed unable to go on.

Asuka showed no reaction, having drained herself of emotion the previous night. Misato did not seem to notice—or, at any rate, care—about Asuka's weary lack of acknowledgment. Her face showed that she had had more than enough experience with it herself.

Misato forced herself to speak the final words. "You will be in your Evas at ten hundred hours. Needless to say, you won't be in school today." Nobody laughed. "The operation will proceed at ten-thirty. You're dismissed until the boarding call." She focused her eyes on Asuka in particular. "See if you can get a little rest before then."

****

Asuka returned to her tent but knew that any attempt at sleep would be a futile endeavor. Instead she sat up in the bed, clutching her knees to her chest. Through the open flaps of the tent she watched the camp bustle, men and women rushing about, carrying bits of machinery and preparing for the extraction.

Asuka thought about the coming operation and felt sick, resisting the urge to vomit from fear and apprehension. Time passed far too quickly for her liking and soon in was oh-nine-thirty. She pulled herself from the bed for the second time that morning, heading toward the makeshift boarding bays that had been set up near the Evas.

She met Rei and Misato not far from the huge constructs' presence, their forms looming over the gathering like terrible guardians. "It's time," Misato said gravely, and the two remaining children climbed onto the lifts.

Asuka got a distinct sense of vertigo, riding the platform upwards, high into the air. Below her she could see the entire base in one glance, the people reduced to half, then a quarter, of their original size.

At long last the lift arrived at the side of the entry plug. Asuka tore open the hatch, hating the tube with all her heart. She climbed inside and pulled it shut again, basking in the total darkness for a brief moment. The plug slid smoothly into the Evangelion, and Asuka was compelled to activate the machine.

Outside, Asuka could see the base, the people still unnaturally small. A wild thought crossed her mind, that she could destroy at least half the camp before they could do anything to even attempt to stop her. It was altogether possible she could mangle the entire place in less time than it would take her Eva's internal batteries to expire.

But she knew that even a blind rampage would not stop the bombs from dropping, for she could already see the planes approaching on the horizon, bearing their deadly payload. Her Eva's small clock read ten-twenty. Her feeling of dread intensified, watching the bombers draw ever nearer.

Over her radio Asuka could hear final commands being issued as the pilots primed their weaponry. "Alright," Ritsuko's voice said.

"Wait!" Aoba's voice rang across the com channel. Ritsuko gave an audibly angry grunt. "We're receiving activity readings from inside the target!" the tech said. Asuka's eyes grew, and for the first time since the conversation last night she dared to have a sliver of hope.

In the sky the orb began to quiver, then shake visibly. "My God!" Aoba was unbelieving. "What the hell is going on!?" Comments of a similar nature flooded the radio until Ritsuko demanded, "People! Get ahold of yourselves! Bombers, delay the strike."

"If the strike is delayed then we'll miss our pass," a mechanically-filtered voice said.

"Then we'll make another one," Ritsuko said.

Suddenly the ground beneath the shadow shattered as though Hell had opened its maw. A thin stream of red began to spray from the side of the orb in sky, then the spray became larger and larger until a huge, blood-covered purple hand tore its way through.

A terrible roar echoed across the base. "Unit-01 is _active_!" Aoba shouted, as the ground quaked violently and the angel soaked the surrounding area in red. The hand clawed at the angel's carapace, pulling the wound wider and wider, blood pouring out by gallons a second.

Asuka held her hand to her mouth, once again fighting the bile that rose in her throat. "What the hell…" she said. "What's happening…?" Her eyes had gone completely wide, staring in incredulity and horror and the emerging beast.

Eva-01 pushed with all its might, and angel split into pieces, raining blood upon the city. The giant machine, its purple hide now tinted an awful crimson, stood upon what remained of its enemy. It opened its mouth and loosed a triumphant roar, worse than any creature of God's making.

Asuka forced her mouth closed. _Is…is my Eva…like _that_?_

Ritsuko's mild voice sounded over the radio. "Twelfth Angel Leliel, eliminated at ten-thirty-two by Evangelion Unit-01."


	7. Fifth Movement

__

Fifth Movement.

Ikari Gendo had returned from his absence, and Ritsuko debriefed him on the battle as they watched crews struggle to wash the blood from Unit-01.

"I've never seen the Eva look more terrible," Ritsuko admitted to the Commander. "What have we created?"

"That is of no concern for the moment," Gendo said evenly.

"I believe Major Katsuragi is very close to finding out just what we _have_ created," Ritsuko said. "And if Shinji or Rei or Asuka ever found out what they were piloting, they would never forgive us."

"Let the Major be, for now," Gendo said. "As for the children, I trust they will not find out." He did not turn to Ritsuko, but his voice carried a pointed glance. "And if they do, suffice to say that they would not be the first to have a grudge against me."

Ritsuko was disquieted by the man's utter calm. "How long can we keep up this charade?" she asked him. "Even _we _aren't sure what we're dealing with. We're just listening to apocryphal prophecies dispensed by a bunch of old men!"

"Be wary of your words, for there is no telling where SEELE has ears," Gendo said. "And as for the Dead Sea Scrolls, I would hardly call them apocryphal."

"'But of that hour and day, no man knew.' Perhaps even _you_ don't know, Ikari Gendo."

His response was mild and unperturbed.

"Perhaps I don't."

****

Shinji woke to a ceiling which was no longer unfamiliar, knowing he was in the NERV medical facilities. He breathed a sigh, content to be where he was, for once not wishing he had lived some other life.

At his bedside a red-haired girl stirred. Shinji looked up and smiled weakly: Asuka sat beside him. She turned away for a moment at his glance, afraid her face would reveal that she had been keeping a sleepless vigil for more than twenty-four hours.

"It smells like blood," Shinji said weakly. "Still."

"It always smells like blood," Asuka replied. "That scent will never go away."

"You can't worry about it," Shinji said distantly, "can't run away."

"No," she said, "you can't."

Wordlessly Shinji reached up and touched Asuka's shoulder; she slid her hand toward him and he set his upon it gently. They sat, motionless, ignoring the passing time.

"This is nice," Shinji said.

"Yes," Asuka agreed quietly, "it is."

~


End file.
